Today at Citichurch was awesome. I missed attending the service last Sunday since I went to visit Mama yet at the service I am reminded that there is a recording. I will catch up on it at the condo while we are preparing for tomorrow’s guest. 🙂
Today’s word was titled “Godquake”. The story of Paul and Silas’ prison was the highlight, Acts 16:20-31 NKJV.
And they brought them to the magistrates, and said, “These men, being Jews, exceedingly trouble our city; and they teach customs which are not lawful for us, being Romans, to receive or observe.” Then the multitude rose up together against them; and the magistrates tore off their clothes and commanded them to be beaten with rods. And when they had laid many stripes on them, they threw them into prison, commanding the jailer to keep them securely. Having received such a charge, he put them into the inner prison and fastened their feet in the stocks. But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone’s chains were loosed. And the keeper of the prison, awaking from sleep and seeing the prison doors open, supposing the prisoners had fled, drew his sword and was about to kill himself. But Paul called with a loud voice, saying, “Do yourself no harm, for we are all here.” Then he called for a light, ran in, and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas. And he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” So they said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.”
I love the message today but what shakes me more is Pastor Jo’s story of how he came to know Jesus. It was a bit like mine but maybe not as profound because I have always believe in God. I have knowledge that He exist yet unaware that a relationship with Him is possible.
I thought what I had was enough. I was a good human being. I was kind. I attend mass on Sundays. My life was awesome. I was doing great. I was blessed.
When I started attending Overflow, I didn’t really thought I’d stay and ended up becoming a Christian. I had the wrong notion that only those who are struggling needs God. I’m not. I’m comfortable and my life was in order. I didn’t lack anything. Each session, every time Pastor JP or Ate Cielo would talk about struggles, I will feel like an outsider. I didn’t really have anything. Despite that I kept on attending since I feel that something is changing within me.
I started reading the bible and doing devotionals. Then as my relationship with the Lord grows, my hunger to know Him more grows as well. Then slowly, He exposed and made me realized where my struggle actually is. My struggles were actually hidden deep within. I had too much pride, narcissism and overconfidence on my own strength. I was insatiable and always on the lookout for something to occupy me. I was not at peace with myself. I harbored hatred and angst towards people thus the need to show off how well I have lived my life and how awesome I have become. I look good on the outside but was actually rotten to the core.
The realization was painful. It was a struggle but I kept on pushing and praying. The hardest thing for me in becoming a Christian was the journey of denying myself. I was so used to loving myself, it has become my foundation. Everything should be about me.
One of today’s question was “what’s your jail right now?” While I was listening to the word, I kept on thinking the answer.
Yet it was only right at this time of writing that I come up with the answer. My jail right now is my filled self. I’m so full of myself and my own beliefs. To be able to give myself completely to Him, I need a Godquake. I need to empty myself completely. And I’m praying that Recharge camp 2017 is a kind of Godquake. Trusting in the Lord and thanking Him everyday for His kindness and unceasing patience. 🙂