I wanted to title this a social media diet but I’m still posting in Instagram and my blogs though not as often as before so it won’t be fitting at all. Had you known me before I changed my Facebook habits you would have been one of the few who wondered what happen.
From almost 5-10 post a day to almost zero. But last Wednesday, I had to make an exception.
Thank You Lord for these ladies who continually remind me how loved I am by You. May our friendship be always blessed and our relationship be a bridge to make a lasting change not only to us but also to our circle of influences. 🙂 Our 2nd #LifeGroup session this year! Strengthening the spirit with @denalynreyes , @iamlittlebriana , @analynsarte ,@xymestrella!!!#SoulFitness #SpiritualHealth #NCRLadiesLifeGroup #GodlyLadies #GodCenteredFellowship #KJLadiesLifeGroup
Although I think my posts are not at all destructive or sending off negative vibes, I realized that I have become overconcerned with my Facebook stats. From just sharing for myself, I ultimately become sharing for people then gradually obsessed with likes. It even got worse when I actually make it one of my habit to think what to post for the day.
I once was narcissist. It’s hard not to be one considering where I’ve been and my family background. I had to love myself because if I don’t, who will? Yes, God was still out of my thought that time. But I have always believed in Him and His powers. Yet it never occured to me that there is this someone who has loved me in silence and I just took it for granted.
I’m very insecure and coward too. Often jealous of people who had everything so I made it my life goal to share what I have so that I won’t look pitiful at all thus Facebook.
But to what end?
The journey to trim down my Facebook time has been hard. It was an ultimate struggle because it was my drug. I was addicted to it. I get highs from my likes and from the perception it projected.
Then I knew God. Everything change. I realized how foolish I was for doing the things that I did not only Facebook. Everything.
He helped me re-evaluate how I was always doing things my way. Yes it was successful but almost often do not satisfy.
I was too naive to think that I was unlovable because of my past. Too proud to be near Him because I was doing great on my own. Too dumb to think that sharing what I have will make people treat me better.
I was too attached to things of this world. Chasing, aiming and doing for the wrong reasons. I’ve been stressing myself just to make me feel good and validate my existence.
It was a sad, sad life but I never realized until now that He is with me. I had fun, tons of fun but I have always aimed for more. I was always looking for something better. And Facebook binded me to that life.
I had to let go and spend the time for Facebook on His word. Nowadays, despite the crowds in my life, I rarely feel burned out and stressed. This limitless energy is because of Him.
I have never been this alive and active. I felt so loved and provided for. And the greatest of all these awesome new things is that I don’t have to share my happiness every time cause now, what matters is our time together. 🙂
Glory to You Lord. 🙂